A group of mountain climbers once heard Father Christmas go past.
They must have had sharp ears!
They were mountain-ears!
An honest politician, a kind lawyer and Santa Claus were walking down the street and saw a $20 bill. Which one picked it up?
Santa! The other two don't exist!
Father Christmas' sledge broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, 'Can you help me fix my sledge?'
'Sorry,' the motorist replied. 'I'm not a mechanic - I'm a chiropodist.'
'Well, can you give me a toe?'
Father Christmas win a saucepan in a competition.
Now thats what you call pot luck !
Father Christmas: I thought I asked you to go out there and clear the snow!
I'm on my way, Father Christmas.
Father Christmas: But you only have one welly on!
That's all right! There's only one foot of snow!
How do we know Santa is such a good race car driver?
Because he's always in the pole position!
How does Santa take his photos?
With his North Pole-aroid!
How many chimneys does Santa go down?
Stacks!
I remember when Father Christmas first passed his sleigh-driving test. He came skidding down in front of the toy factory.'Have you passed?' I asked.
Father Christmas pointly proudly to the front of the sleigh. 'See for yourself!' he called proudly. 'No-el plates!'
'I think I'll have to take this sledge for a service,' Father Christmas sighed.
You'd never get it up the church steps!
Is it true that Father Christmas fought for Drake against the Spanish Armada?
He was certainly at Plymouth Ho-ho-ho!
I've had a slight accident with your sleigh, Father Christmas!
Father Christmas: Oh no! That sleigh was in mint condition!
That's all right....now it's a mint with a hole!
One time Father Christmas lost his underpants.
That's how he got the name Saint Knickerless!
Twinkle Twinkle chocolate bar
Santa drives a rusty car
Press the starter
Press the choke
Off he goes in a cloud of smoke !
What did Santa say to Mrs. Claus when he looked out the window?
Looks like "rain", "Dear"!
What do the reindeer sing to Father Christmas on his birthday ?
Freeze a jolly good fellow !
What do the elves call it when Father Christmas claps his hands at the end of a play?
Santapplause!
What do you call a man who claps at Christmas ?
Santapplause !
What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a detective ?
Santa Clues !
What do you call a smelly Santa?
Farta Christmas!
im just glad someone answered! :D
